The Cost of Living
by Zarius
Summary: After DM leaves his mark on her home, the Professor sulks about the cost of living, until Penfold gives her an offer (spoilers for "Half the World Is Not Enough")


**DANGER MOUSE:**

 **THE COST OF LIVING**

 **WRITTEN BY ZARIUS**

 **Disclaimer: Danger Mouse (2015) and all trademarked characters are property of Fremantle Media and CBBC**

* * *

The Professor readied herself for the cost of living

"How bad is it?" she said, as she observed the massive gaping hole in the side of her house that Penfold and Danger Mouse had left when they had catapulted over to her side of the street during the matter of the 'great divide' that had befallen the Earth. The result of the insidious Baron Greenback again tampering with the very core of the planet.

"Well, there's been worse craters in my lifetime, but it's definitely too wide to seal up within a month, and you can't hope to stay here while the work's going on" said the repairman as his men measured up the size of the collapsed portions of the building.

"Just tell me how much it'll cost" the Professor said

"About £895" the repairman replied.

The Professor wanted to let her hair loose just so she could pull it out.

The frustrations nullified all the thoughts and feelings of gratitude she had at the notion Danger Mouse had gone to such pain-staking measures to ensure she would have a job after she had been released following her performance review.

She let those thoughts dwell on the short bus trip to work. Upon arrival however, she put those ideas aside to concentrate on slowly rebuilding her inventory that DM had exhausted in his efforts to stop the Baron at the expense of, well, the expensive, and costing the Professor her livelihood in the process.

When it came time for lunch break, she let the thoughts creep once more into her head, and made sure she had someone around to vent to.

"I can't afford to pay this and afford the rent at the same time" she confessed to Penfold in the canteen of the Danger Agency, silently staring at her steadily cooling bowl of numerical soup.

When she was younger, she often liked to take the numbers and arrange them into equation. Made a pigsty out of the dinner table, but it satisfied her eagerness to learn and deduce conclusions, conclusions that would lead her to developing the means to save countless lives.

Messy tables were a small price to pay for the cost of living.

"Look Professor, DM has rather unorthodox ways of trying to make up for a guilty conscience, but if he were to see you like this, he'd just feel bad all over again" Penfold said.

"Maybe I want him to feel bad more often, if it gets him to afford some time for the little things, I say it's worth a go"

"Yeah, but we're still trying to fit the planet back the right way, so any time the Chief tries to make a big deal out of a little thing, it leads to a bigger problem"

"True, this isn't the first time this week we've messed about with the planet" said the Professor, recalling the incident with the calendar.

"Yes, well, that was more my fault" Penfold replied.

"Well, my folks always said life was more about what you can hope to afford, rather than actually be ABLE to afford" the Professor lamented.

"If it helps Professor, I can possibly persuade some of the agencies finest to drum up some sort of funding for you, heck it was my motor that crashed into your house, I can give you the insurance I got from it"

"You'd do that for me? Oh my little Pen Pal, that'd be wonderful" said Squawkencluck, giving the dapper little assistant a peck on the cheek with her beak. Penfold recoiled as he felt a sharp nip.

"Sorry, you can probably tell from that why I'm not usually known for sentiment. One time I had a boyfriend that looked like a cheese grater after one too many hen nights with me"

"You've got good comedic timing Professor" complimented Penfold.

"Thanks, but I reckon your more timely given you know what to put in my piggy bank at precisely the right moment" the Professor replied.

"Think nothing of it Professor, so long as you live more comfortably by the end of it, you don't have to spend the next few months feeling too hard about the rest of us"

Squawkencluck raised a glass to Penfold.

"To the cost of living"


End file.
